The Vienna Philharmonic gave its first concert since March 10 earlier this week, and it looked like a real blast:

Thanks to COVID-19, only 100 people were allowed into the almost-3,000-seat Musikverein. Concertgoers needed to enter with a mask on, but they were allowed to take it off once they were seated (which makes me wonder if Viennese officials know what hole the virus comes out of when we breathe). Concertgoers sat alone–families and households weren’t allowed to clump together–and there was no intermission. Get it, sit down, get out, hope you don’t die.

On the German side of the border, the State Theater of Hesse in Wiesbaden (it’s by Frankfurt, I guess) hosted baritone Guenther Groissboeck, who performed for 200 people in the 1,000-seat hall on May 18. People had to wear face masks and provide their contact information beforehand, but they could sit together in groups.

Here in the United States, on the same night as Groissboeck’s recital, Travis McCready gave a socially distanced concert to around the same number of people in Fort Smith, Arkansas. The US has almost 30% of the world’s confirmed COVID-19 cases, the most of any country.

To prepare for the McCready concert, according to Digital Music News, staff at Temple Live sprayed the venue with “sanitizing mist.” People had to wear masks and drink out of closed containers. How they drank with their masks on, DMN did not say.

A Canadian survey showed that 21% of live-music fans would “probably never” feel comfortable in a traditional concert environment, and the vast majority of people have said they’ll wait until a vaccine arrives before returning. As a COVID-19-safe alternative, presenters and promoters are turning to so-called drive-in concerts. Keith Urban and Alan Jackson performed shows at drive-in theaters in Tennessee and Alabama, respectively, and Garth Brooks’s upcoming concert will be re-broadcast to 300 drive-in theaters around the country. Mark Rebillet is in the middle of an eight-city drive-in tour.

The idea behind drive-in concerts is that your car could provide an almost impervious layer of protection between you and the outside, germ-spreading world. But what would you do if you wanted to get out, spread your legs, enjoy the night air? You could walk around wearing this:

This is the Micrashell protective suit, “specifically designed to satisfy the needs of nightlife, live events and entertainment industries,” according to its makers. It’s got an N 95 filtration system in its helmet and a special system that allows you to drink and vape (I’m not sure if you can do them at the same time; that’d be cool, though). Because the suit is “top only,” users can wear their normal street clothes–because you don’t want to look conspicuous in the club–and easily “engage in intercourse without being exposed to respiratory risks.”

We all know we’re living a nightmare, right?